Friends

Dear God,

I'm getting desperate already :,( I really ask for friends that actually have the same interests. . I really don't want to adjust in a group that I try and do my best to fit in, when I really don't, cause quite frankly, I'm losing my interests just because i keep blending in.

It's different now from before, as people grow up, they find their cliques and groups, somehow i just can't find mine and i tend to succumb into one person in which I've seen, is very unhealthy. Drives me nuts and the other is having a hard time.

Dear God, I do pray for friends, friends who love art, who love anime, who loves to draw, to bake, to read manga, to innovate, one's who actually seriously love staying in coffee shops, who loves to eat cute food, who loves to window shop and actually save up for treasures found. . I want those kind of friends, who's in a group. I'm quite tired of duets, i need trios, quartets, and a choir. I'm the silent type, i love to observe, please I need a group.

Yes, I am desperate. I don't mind if i get to know them thru the net, i don't mind at all anymore. I just need new air to breathe. New faces to see. Old passions to reignite.

Dear God. I'm depending on you. Only you can bring me new friends, only you can bring the right people in my life. I'm tired of trying to fit in. I'm tired of trying to please people just to have friends. I just want to be me, I want to hang out with people like me. Fake smiles I need to trash, I am in desperate need of sincere smiles.

Lovingly yours,

Shii

His Job

Dear God,

My special someone has work now :D and quite frankly I'm adjusting to the lesser time he gives me; its quite sad, but at the same time I am excited as well :D He's working! I'm so proud of him :) thank you so much for giving me an independent person that i could rely on in the near future. :) I don't believe I'm saying this but. . Now i understand why a lot of women out there get jealous of their partner's job :)) haha. but really, its a good thing :D Him working on his job, makes me want to work hard as well on whatever I am doing. Because while he's working, I've got to do something too! and staring at the wall and wasting time is a no no!

God, thank you for letting me feel these things, and letting me experience these things. It makes me happy to know that I have emotions and I am smiling and happy with the person that i care about. Thank you dear God. Thank you for your blessing upon him, and thank you for your awesomeness and sweetness in my life as well.

I love you God :D I really really do. :D Thank you :)

I'm missing him a lot too :3

Love part 2

Dear God,

I take my words back :3 please fill my heart with love :) It's good to have someone to care for <3 It's better to love, rather than not love at all. Thank you for the wisdom and the strength. It's good to have a heart <3

Love

Dear God,

I wonder if people understand how hard it is to be an artist. They are mocked, they are hurt, they are laughed at and yet they strive to stand up on their feet and show the world the beauty you've made.

It's just so hard. So hard to be an emotional artist who lives up her life for You and for her art. Dear God, she's tired. She's tired of all the confusion, of all the drama, of all the mistakes and the false interpretation she has for herself. All she wants at the moment is one thing, and she's slowly ruining it for herself.

God. I like someone, God i want to be with someone, God help me be content. True love waits they say, but what is behind those words? Has anyone said how hard, how tough how insignificant the hardships it shows? God. Am I in love? or am I drowning in my emotions of selfishness and insecurity?

God, if falling in love is this hard, this tough, God please do tell me why you gave me heart. I'm struggling and I don't know what to do anymore. Am I too immature? Am i such a kid that I can't even handle my own emotions? Dear God dear God, why have you made this heart easy to fall?

God i know he is a blessing, but then again, if its not the right time. . what can i simply do? I'm tired dear God. Are relationships meant to be this way? Is the heart pumping hard enough to fight this war she has inside? God. Where are you? :( I'm suffering and i want to enjoy this love you've given; but this heart of hers just couldn't seem to accept the love that is freely given to her. Is this the reason why she can't love back?

God. Why make this heart fall in love at the wrong time? I know its my choice, but somehow, I don't know what I should do. Dear God, he's special to me, but I'm having a hard time :,(. I've been wrong from the start. . . Will the mistakes ever stop? :,( I cry everytime. I dreamed and hoped for a sweet love so innocent and pure, just to know that mine is not as pure as i thought it could be. Can you sense the huge failure inside of me? It's burning in tears and regrets. I'm hurt God. Not because of his doing, but because of my doing. Dear God, can you just take this heart of mine? I think its bleeding in disappointment and regrets. I've finally found someone, but I ruined it from the start. Take this heart dear God, and let it love no more.