Failure
Dear God. .
I'm a failure. .
What do I do now? I failed my dad, my mom, my sister, my brother, my best friend, my mentors, myself, i failed You. I don't know how to get out anymore. I can't find any hope at all. I'll never be okay anymore. I'll never be the person whom you want to be. Now i feel how a sinner feels. I'm a total sinner. God. . If this is your test for me. . please. . please save me. I have no where else to go. No matter how much people help me i don't do anything. . I know you sent those people to talk to me. . I;m sorry God. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm sorry for ruining another person's life because of my selfishness. God. . I don't deserve to live. I'm a liar in every way. I don't deserve anyone close to me. God, my book of life, is it full of red marks?
I don't want to go to school anymore. I don't want to go to church anymore. I don't want to even go home anymore. I just want to live somewhere far where i can't be a burden to anyone. I don't want to talk to my family anymore. . I've given them too much pain and burdens already. God. . I want to erase or cut all my pictures in our photos. I want to disappear. I am nothing but a curse or a burden. I don't deserve a best friend. Can i just stay in a place where there are people who are unaccepted in the society? So there'll be one less person that makes other people's lives worst.
I deserve to be in a hospital bed. When i can't touch anybody's life. I'm over this. I give up God. . I don't know what to do. All hands up. Do whatever You want to do to me. . . I'm a complete sinner. . I'm sorry for being a huge disappointment, failure. I'm sorry. . .
shiriel
posted by Shiriel @ 9:19 AM
1 Comments
1 Comments:
awww reading this makes me so sad; you think a lot of the same things that I do :(
But please don't buy into such lies. It is true that everyone sins. But you are not a failure to God, because not one person is holding Him up.
My hope for you is that you will see yourself as the person God created you to be. As an image bearer of Christ, you are a relational being. You are meant to grow in the fellowship of those in church and represent His love to those around you.
You are not a burden to God. God IS love. A favorite verse of mine is Zephaniah 3:17. "The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing"
God DELIGHTS in you. You. And such great value is not deserved, nor earned.
You know that He loves you; you have been given the gift of eternal life with him. But He also wants to spend time with you and give you peace in knowing that you are precious to Him.
Psalm 37:4 says "Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart."
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