Love

Dear God,

I wonder if people understand how hard it is to be an artist. They are mocked, they are hurt, they are laughed at and yet they strive to stand up on their feet and show the world the beauty you've made.

It's just so hard. So hard to be an emotional artist who lives up her life for You and for her art. Dear God, she's tired. She's tired of all the confusion, of all the drama, of all the mistakes and the false interpretation she has for herself. All she wants at the moment is one thing, and she's slowly ruining it for herself.

God. I like someone, God i want to be with someone, God help me be content. True love waits they say, but what is behind those words? Has anyone said how hard, how tough how insignificant the hardships it shows? God. Am I in love? or am I drowning in my emotions of selfishness and insecurity?

God, if falling in love is this hard, this tough, God please do tell me why you gave me heart. I'm struggling and I don't know what to do anymore. Am I too immature? Am i such a kid that I can't even handle my own emotions? Dear God dear God, why have you made this heart easy to fall?

God i know he is a blessing, but then again, if its not the right time. . what can i simply do? I'm tired dear God. Are relationships meant to be this way? Is the heart pumping hard enough to fight this war she has inside? God. Where are you? :( I'm suffering and i want to enjoy this love you've given; but this heart of hers just couldn't seem to accept the love that is freely given to her. Is this the reason why she can't love back?

God. Why make this heart fall in love at the wrong time? I know its my choice, but somehow, I don't know what I should do. Dear God, he's special to me, but I'm having a hard time :,(. I've been wrong from the start. . . Will the mistakes ever stop? :,( I cry everytime. I dreamed and hoped for a sweet love so innocent and pure, just to know that mine is not as pure as i thought it could be. Can you sense the huge failure inside of me? It's burning in tears and regrets. I'm hurt God. Not because of his doing, but because of my doing. Dear God, can you just take this heart of mine? I think its bleeding in disappointment and regrets. I've finally found someone, but I ruined it from the start. Take this heart dear God, and let it love no more.