xD

Jesus is such a funny and loveable God... remember yesterday? the feeling i felt?...i said that no one could help me...but the Holy Spirit won't stop telling to ask help from Jesus...so eventually i gave up and asked Jesus...and to my surprise, this morning when i woke up, i felt so happy, joyful and filled with eagerness to change...as in...if you just know how happy i am...:D

Jesus really does work in mysterious ways, and in unepexpected ways.. i mean i thought this depression would never fade! but it did! and you know how!? by simply saying out loud, "Jesus i need you..." then POOF! i felt happy again...:D

About the special someone i was craving for....maybe, its really in my age that we girls look for more 'attention'...xD its kinda weird but its true..:D hehe...I'm just so glad that the Holy Spirit didn't stop telling me to ask Jesus for help...:D hehe i'm so happy and joyful, that i was so hyper in school!!!xD hehe and well i felt bad towards my mom, but then Jesus explained to me the reason why i shouldn't...:D JEsus is just amazing,a nd i'm so glad that He's always here beside me guiding me to the path towards my destiny...^___^

...

Have you ever felt that you are not needed anywhere? felt that no one needs you anymore?...felt that you coudl never do anything for anyone?...heh its weird huh?!...well guess waht? i'm feeling ti right now...

I feel that im just 'one' of the crowd, i'm one of the most useless people in this world... i feel so bad and sad that i couldn't do anything for anyone, i fail at everything i do concerning helping other people...bah i better stop writing for now...its useless...

Emotionally Sick

i dont know what the heck is wrong with me...but for the past few weeks, i've been feeling so down, depressed, and stupidly lonely...

I have no idea why i am like this.. It's as if i want to have a special someone...i know its stupid and why the heck do i want that?....well honestly... i don't know too...

I tried to find my way out of this weird depression, but then i kept on going back to it...for the past few days i've been feeling so happy and hyper, i've returned to my normal self...but why do i always get so depressed and sad when i'm finally alone... i don't know why i'm feeling this, but i really hate this feeling...

I can't seem to understand why i need a special someone right now, when i have so many friends whom i'm so fond of being with, and i ahve my family and ofcourse Jesus.. then why? why am i feeling so damn alone?...i don't know what to do anymore..i dont know what to think, how to act...i don't know myself right now...i need a special someone...but why do i need one?!

By the way...something came up to my mind....its like this...i want a special someone so badly so it means i want a BF or something right?... but then when i imagined that what if i was 18 and there is a guy courting me...how the heck am i going to say 'yes'?...see how weird i am lately?...

I want a special someone..but what does that mean? i dont get it! i don't need a special someone! but why am i looking for one?! this is so stupid! i'm so mad at myself...im so confused.... no one could help me but me... but i have no idea how to hel[p myself...i want to cry in deep sorrow, and just fade away even for just a day... i feel that my body is so weak, so sad and so depressed...

I'm so mad coz i'm getting depressed over something into which i don't know what it is!... I don't need a special someone right now! but why am i craving for it?!....i hate it so much! id ont know what to do...:c for now, behind my smiles there are tears....

Epol...xD

wee! i just came from epol yesterday! and it sure was fun! like we had to travel going there by car for two hours and on hour by foot!>.< i finally climbed a mountain! it was kind of scary at first but then it was really fun..xD

It was so cold there! and me and my friends slept inside a tent, it was a pain in the back but then it was a great experience..:D and there was no electricity there! xD and teh bathrooms were not secured!!!xD what i mean bathrooms there were like 'exposed'....xD and my and my friends took our baths in a tiny river...as in tiny...v.v...

but the greatest experience i had there is when we went to teh waterfalls...it was a one hour trip towards there and one hour trip back...and it sure was HARD!!!! we passed thourgh a long river and i usually trip because of the rocks..xD and guess waht?!

we climbed teh water falls!!! fighting teh water was sure fun but scary..v.v.. i was supposed to be scared of heights but for some reason i just climbed teh water falls! and when we climbed down, i slipped several times!xD haha it was so fun!xD tehn on our way back we climbed a min waterfall, it was challenging coz we were all wet and we hvta climb teh slippery muddy paths, not to mention that t rained too while we were climbing..xD but then even though i wanted to give up, i couldn't...so i learned somthing..

I must always look at teh goal of teh race, no matter how hard teh race or obstacles are i should look forward teh finish line..:D hehe i'll do teh same with my manga making!!!!!!!!!:D wahah!

honestlt i wna come back to epol..xD but not this year coz its freezing tehre...c.c... and it was a fun adventure coz i was with my friends...^.~